Funeral Service and Burial
Where is the funeral service held?
Jewish funeral services, which are characterized by simplicity and brevity, may be conducted at a funeral chapel or graveside. Members of a temple/synagogue have the privilege of a funeral service at their temple/synagogue or ask about our temple/synagogue partners.
What happens at the funeral service?
Kriah
– Before the service begins, the mourners gather together with the rabbi to perform kriah, rending a garment. Kriah is an ancient tradition which can be traced to biblical times. The custom today is to cut a black ribbon which children of the deceased wear on the left side over the heart and other mourners wear on the right. During this ritual, mourners stand to signify strength at the time of grief, and they recite a prayer acknowledging the inevitability of death.
Service
– The bereaved family is seated at the front of the synagogue or chapel. The casket remains closed. Flowers, a symbol of life and celebration, are not customary. The service includes psalms and inspirational readings. The eulogy is intended to highlight the enduring qualities of the deceased. The service ends with the El Moley Rachamim prayer, “God Full of Compassion,” which expresses the hope that the deceased will be granted eternal peace.
Pallbearers
– At the end of the service, it is optional for the family to designate pallbearers to escort the casket to the hearse. As a sign of respect, the casket precedes the mourners. Up to six pallbearers may participate; at the cemetery, the cemetery staff usually handles the casket. Honorary pallbearers may also be assigned. Mourners do not serve as pallbearers.
Should children attend?
The presence of children at a funeral is ultimately a family decision. Recent work in psychology suggests that children may be more frightened by what they imagine occurs at funerals than what actually happens. Hence, from the age of 6 or older children should be given the opportunity to attend.
How do we regard viewing?
Jewish tradition discourages viewing the deceased. It considers opening a casket prior to burial an intrusion of the deceased’s privacy.
What traditions are observed at the burial?
The burial service is simple, consisting of a psalm, the chanting of the El Moley Rachamim prayer and the recitation of the kaddish. Traditionally, the casket is lowered and covered with earth before the mourners leave the cemetery called K'vurah. Today, some families continue this practice, while others choose to not cover fully, but place a small shovel full of earth on the casket, to participate in the process of the burial. At the end of the service, mourners leave the cemetery walking between two lines formed by family and friends offering comfort and support. With this shift from honoring the dead to consoling the bereaved, the official mourning period begins.