Condolence: Dear Shirley,
I am so sorry about the loss of your dear brother, Sonny. I think of you often and the fun we had in our youth. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Virginia

Condolence:  Eulogy to Carl "Uncle Sonny"
    
I'm Lee,  Carl's oldest nephew.  Carl was his given name as the world knew him as an adult, but for the first part of his life his public name was Irving. To the family, he was & always will be Sonny.  He never married, & never had children. But as a beloved elder & patron to 3 generations of nephews, grandnephews, grandnieces & now great grand nephew & niece, he will always be Uncle Sonny. These names have great significance for a special reason I will explain.  But for the rest of this eulogy I will refer to him by his name of family endearment...Sonny. 

You see, Sonny, by the greater measure of the man, was reborn out of the ashes of combat in WWII. He was still known as Irving when he volunteered to serve his country. As you heard he was captured in the Battle of the Bulge, & very quickly learned that he would be segregated out to be killed if he was discovered to be Jewish.  With full credit to his given name, he became known as Carl to his fellow prisoners & captors, & with his quick ability to learn German he was thought to be an American of German descent. So his name Carl saved his life, & he honored that as his public name for the remainder of his life.  However, if you were family, then he answered to Sonny.
 
He was an extraordinary man by any measure, & was fully one of the many men & women who comprised what Tom Brokaw called the "Greatest Generation".  He was a man always comfortable with giving, yet for those of us closest to him, his selflessness was our frustration, as he relentlessly rejected most of our efforts to pay him back in kind, accepting no more than a thank you. It took many years for me to figure out what I could give him in return that he could accept as heartfelt & meaningful.  

It turns out that for much of my life I had completely misunderstood his gifts, which seemed very tangible & substantial. To truly demonstrate my thankfulness I had to show him, in the conduct of my life, that I understood the purpose of his true gift, which was the making possible the opportunity that might have otherwise have fallen short, to focus on & engage in the responsibilities of life, to honor commitments & the long-term consequences of life decisions.  The importance of this to Sonny was paramount, as the cornerstone of a moral life.

I have to say that preparing this eulogy was a little more challenging than I expected, not because it was difficult to find things to say & stories to share about Sonny, but more because there are so many I want to tell. So I  will recall just a couple, & for this afternoon & the days to come ask that you all honor Sonny  in the joy of telling each other the Carl & Sonny stories that you know first hand. 

As I had said a moment ago,  one of Sonny's aspiration was to see us all learn to take personal responsibility for our actions & decisions.  As such, he was not very big in general on "shoulding" other people about their lives. However, his closest relations discovered he could sometimes stray from this live & let live outlook. For me, he remained firmly insistent on one thing only throughout my adolescence....that no matter what I wanted to do in life, I could do it, except: " become a doctor first....then you can do anything else you want." So here I am ... a physician 36 years,  & I can tell Sonny now that I'm feeling just a little stuck...I guess I didn't quite get the second part of his directive of doing anything else  I want!

Well, we also know Sonny to be a man who enjoyed a good laugh, which was his signature "tee he-he" right up to the end of his life.  Although a good slapstick routine could always tickle his funny bone, sometimes his sense of humor was understated, sometimes so much so that I think he had a Machiavellian side to him. For example,  as a summertime surrogate father to my brother Owen & me growing up, it was almost a prank to him that he could have us children to love & indulge for 2 months every summer, then giggle away as his beloved sister & brother-in-law, our parents, struggled to deal with taking us spoiled brats back home until he would get us again for the next summer to do it all over again.

And finally, bless his soul, there is a not so subtle last laugh he has had on my brother & me that he confessed to us outright before he died: a bit of background first. As many of you know, one of the darker outcomes of Sonny's POW experience was that he became a hoarder. Eventually in his later years he developed some understanding of the near futility of keeping all his junk. However I must emphasize I said near futility. As his last raison-d'etre  for not parting with his junk, he bequeathed it to Owen & me, saying that going through the trouble of getting rid of it after his death was his revenge on us for whatever aggravation we caused him during his life.

It is hard for me to end this eulogy now, as it is hard for me to say good bye to Sonny in death. I celebrate the life, selflessness, & contributions to family, friends, community & country of this amazing man. He was loving & lovable, compassionate & forgiving to a fault. His generosity helped make possible wonderful homes for my parents, my brother & me, & educations for all the grandnephews & nieces.  His wisdom & love, & even his personal foibles have enriched my  life & my family beyond measure, & I trust in my heart that his memory & consideration will be held fondly for many years to come by those of you here today . 

Good night dear Uncle Sonny, & with all my heart, thank you not only for everything, but for just being you. I love you.

Lee Garrett, nephew

Condolence: I will always remember Uncle Shrolkey as we called him. He was my cousin but out of respect we called him Uncle. He was kind, gentle and I remember his smile. May he rest in peace

Condolence: I was very sad to learn of the passing of Carl "Sonny" Cutler. When growing up in Quincy, MA, my mother Shirley B. Thorner (neé Goldberg), who passed away herself at age 90 on 18 April 2010, always made it a point that our family maintain close ties with the "Malden side" of the family. I remember Cousin Sonny with great fondness. He did indeed have a "sunny" personality. He was jovial and kind, and always seems to enjoy interacting my me and my sisters Susan and Eileen. He was also one of my mother's favorites too, truth be told. My sincerest condolences to Shirley Garrett and others who knew, appreciated, and loved Sonny, which is probably anyone and everyone with whom he ever came in contact. I only regret that mu teaching duties and other responsibilities here at the Univ. of California, Berkeley, make it impossible for me to travel East to be with you in this sorrowful time.
Sincerely yours, Jeremy